So here we are. I knew all along that the hellacious application process would lead to acceptance letters followed by campus visits, followed by loan applications, followed by leaving my job and moving heaven knows where. It just wasn’t real until those letters showed up with their fancy seals and horrifying tuition estimations.
Meanwhile, I am hemorrhaging money for our wedding and trying to be as honest and helpful as possible with my bosses about my now-inevitable departure. Right now, it looks pretty likely that instead of a honeymoon, I’ll be putting the Grige on a plane to a new life in a city over 1,000 miles away two days after we say “I do”. I’ll then hang my head and trudge back to D.C. to plow through the insanely busy season at my job while living in my cousin’s basement and helping her and her husband with their newborn. Alone.
|Photo: Jeanine Finch|
Every time I think about this eventuality I want to burst into tears. (Not because I don't love babies, I totally do!) So I’m writing about it, which is only marginally better and still makes me want to throw things.
The facts are these: The Grige is going to grad school, which makes me the primary wage earner for our baby family. I make a great deal of overtime pay during the busy season at work, which makes it financially irresponsible for me to leave as he begins accruing mountains of debt. Also, I like the people I work with quite a bit. I think it would be just plain mean to take off at the beginning of crazy, busy, there-is-no-time-to-go-to-the-bathroom season. The wedding itself is already ill-timed (to say the least).
Sure, I’ve sort of known this was coming. But now that the letters are here, it’s real. We also thought we’d have at least a week or two before he had to go to just be newlyweds and say goodbye to our home. Instead, he’ll probably be in a 2-week intensive orientation program that will turn him from human man to super-duper architect dude (no sleep or spare-time included). I’ll join him in time to celebrate our first Thanksgiving together. It’s likely to feel a little empty after last year. On the bright side, we’ll probably have tons of fun wedding gifts to cook with/serve on.
|Photo: Jeanine Finch|
Growing up is not easy, and I’m sure this is the first of many expectations about married life (you know, the part where we live together) that will be challenged in the name of financial security and “being responsible”. It’s sad, but I’m hopeful for un-expected good things as well. Stay tuned…