Life List Fail, and Accompanying Silver Lining

It's time to cross another item off the life list, but not in the usual way. This time, it will be because I will never be able to accomplish it.

I got my current (and first!) passport when I was 16. I got it for a trip to Italy with my AP European History class, where I became so enamored with traveling that I have made it out of the country at least once a year every year since then, with the exception of 2012 (we got married, I figured that's enough to let myself off the hook for a year).

Italian festivals

2004 - Germany and Italy
2005 - Virgin Island
2006 - Italy (again)
2007 - Mexico
2008 - Canada
2009 - Costa Rica
2010 - Hong Kong, Singapore, Thailand and Indonesia
2011 - Spain and Morocco
2012 -
2013 - Wait for it.....

So my passport and I, with the photograph of my broody 16-year-old self, have seen a lot of places. In fact, we've been to every continent, with the exception of South America. And so I made the not-overly-ambitious-at-the-time life list item to get every continent in that passport.

Costa Rican beaches

And then I got married. And changed my name. Emily Fisk has never traveled anywhere, and after much thought and deliberation, she's not going to start this year.

Now, those of you deeply familiar with foreign travel and able to count are probably already aware that my dear passport is about to expire anyway. So when Chad and I decided to take a honeymoon this year, I decided that it would be Emily Fraker's last ride, and I'd say farewell to my passport in style.

The only thing left to do was convince the Grige that we should go to South America and my goal would be complete! Success! Except no - because an arbitrary goal is not really a good basis for planning your honeymoon. Pesky things like flight costs, where your husband actually wants to go, safety and timing actually play in quite a bit.

So, we are not going to South America, ergo, I will not be able to check this item off my list. However, we ARE going to GREECE! For which I am so unbelievably excited I can hardly stand it. Neither of us have ever been there, and there will be lots of history for me, architecture for the Grige, beaches and adventure aplenty for both of us! In the grand scheme, I'm still getting out of the country and can hardly complain. Silver linings FTW!

Noms in Morocco

For the record, I can't recommend planning a honeymoon after the wedding is over highly enough. It has been so very fun to spend tons of time and energy researching the trip, which is something we never would have been able to do while planning the wedding at the same time. We will also have lots of energy and mental space to enjoy the trip. If we had gone right after the wedding, we would have been so busy processing the enormity of that day it would have been hard to take in a new country. To be clear, you should definitely take some quiet time alone after your wedding, but save the big crazy trip for after you've had some time to process.

Walter the Turkey

You can brine if you want to
You can leave your friends behind
Because your friends don't brine and if they don't brine
Well they're no friends of mine.

I say, we can brine where we want to
a place where they will never find
and we can act like we come from a pre-grocery store world
leave the real one far behind
and we can brine...

Happy two days before Thanksgiving! I'm filled with joy and excitement, because I picked up Walter, our fresh, organic, free range turkey earlier today. I strapped him lovingly into the backseat of the car and we sang along to Men Without Hats the whole way home. He's now resting peacefully in his brine, with visions of my roasting pan and all the joy he will bring dancing in his head.

Walter. Obscured by brine and intoxicated by instagram filters.

I freaking love Thanksgiving, but I won't expand on our menu because I have too much cooking to get back to. Suffice it to say that at our house, the November issue of Bon Appetit is met with more squeals than a Justin Beiber concert. My table-scape is set, Walter is brining, anything that can be pre-made has been, and I have a two page schedule taped to my cupboards to make sure everything runs smoothly on Thursday. I can't freaking wait.

As an aside, I want to say a few words about Walter, since he's already met his maker, and will be meeting our tummies in a few days. Walter is from Whole Foods, where, until today, I felt confident that I could buy a reasonably local turkey, pre-ordered for convenience and never frozen. While the convenience and un-frozen requirements were certainly met, I discovered that Walter is from Grand Rapids, Michigan.

I am also from that area of Michigan, and four of the people who will soon be noshing on Walter are coming from there too, increasing Walter's carbon footprint to a size I'm uncomfortable with. I live in Missouri! This is about as farm-y as it gets, and I really can't understand why I couldn't get a turkey from a farm around here. Instead, my family and Walter travelled separately from the same place to get to my table, and that upsets me. If I had known this was the best option, I would have had my family pick him up and drive him down themselves. Or, I would have just gone to the farmers market and braved the crowds to get a local Tom. Ugh. Frustrating.

Anyhow, Walter is a special bird, and I'm glad he's with us. I just with he could have travelled with family instead of in a truck.

Off to add my stinky hippie tears to the brine....

Vacationing Above Your Means (Within Your Means) Part II

Last time, I wrote about vacationing "exotically" within your means. After writing it, I started thinking that my favorite vacations are not the most exotic ones. Traveling abroad can be stressful, and I think that the relax factor is very important. We take time away from work to re-charge our batteries, anyone who has been out of the country knows there is nothing more annoying and stressful than a faulty power converter. Now, I want to write about some less high-profile vacation options, and ways to keep a domestic vacation even more reasonably priced.

On the East Coast (and I assume near any large body of water), it's quite trendy to travel to the shore for weekends and holidays when the weather is nice. Some people rent beach houses, some people stay in "spring break" themed hotels on the "strip", and some people RV or car camp. The Grige (my Partner) and I backpack and I think it is the most wonderful and un-stressful break ever. 

We generally go to Assateague National Park (not to be confused with the State Park, which is full of RVs and screaming children where you must book your spot 6 months in advance). Once you arrive, you pay $15 dollars to park, check in with the rangers, grab your backpack and hike anywhere from 2 to 11 miles up the beach to pre-set camp areas with fire pits, picnic tables and even a classy latrine (read eco-friendly port-a-potty). You can stay for a weekend or a week, you fall asleep to the sound of the waves, and there is usually not another person in view as you sip a nightcap and enjoy your fire-fresh supper. 

Granted, this is easier if you are not a total camping novice. You will need bug repellant, and you will need to stick to beverages that do not come in glass containers or require blenders. You will also need some basic camping gear - the most primitive versions of which can be purchased for under $20 at Target. But isn't that a tiny price to pay for peace, tranquility and miles of open seashore? Oh yeah, and wild horses.

I'm of the belief that this camping thing works anywhere, but if spending a night out of doors really isn't your bag, there are still options left for a domestic beach vacation that doesn't break the bank (or involve droves of guidos doing jager bombs in the next hotel room). I am from Michigan and I love Michigan, so it was only a matter of time before I spent a few paragraphs telling you how amazing and awesome Michigan is. So here it is: Michigan rocks. 

Michigan is also cheap. Renting a house within walking distance of the lake on Michigan's west coast is not for the poor, but it's night and day when compared with a beach rental on the eastern shore. There are also hotels and cabins in abundance with all kinds of deals. We all know that Michigan's economy is in the sewer, so you will see a price drop in everything from draught beer to boat rentals once you cross the border. The best part is that there is no drop in quality to match. 

Michigan also offers a ton of variety. You can head to the Upper Peninsula for woodsy solitude on the chilly shores of Lake Superior, or you can hit up any one of hundreds of adorable little beach towns up and down the coast of Lake Michigan. There are great restaurants and tons of entertainment to be found pretty much everywhere. You can swim, you can surf, you can kayak, paddle board, sail, sand-board, bike, hike, or even head to the dunes in your 4-wheel drive vehicle. There is something for everyone. 

So before you drop an entire paycheck to sleep on the floor of an Atlantic Coast beach house with 27 of your "closest friends", check out Grand Haven, Traverse City, Pentwater, Marquette, or Harbor Springs. You may find yourself on the front end of a very affordable trend. 

See you at the Beach,

Double E

Vacationing Above Your Means (Within Your Means)

There are people who believe that those of us who make less than 100k per year should narrow our definition of "vacation" to mean "a week at home watching TV and maybe going to the zoo". While I am a big fan of the "stay at home" vacation, I don't think it's the only option for people in my income range.

I am a passport stamp junkie. The stranger and farther away it is, the more I want to go. Not making much money has never stopped me either, even before I discovered the amazing "goal" feature on mint.com. I was working two jobs for $11 and $9 dollars per hour respectively when I self-funded a trip to Costa Rica to visit a friend who was living there. I managed to swing the entire vacation, including airfare, for under $600.  I also managed a trip to Morocco for under $1000 earlier this year. Neither of these trips involved camping out or staying in a hostel, and both involved a LOT of eating.

If you too love to travel but have budget restrictions, here are some tricks to the trade:

• Join an airline loyalty program. Last year, I was flying back from Thailand (for work) and the guy next to me could not shut up about how great United Airline's loyalty program was. I was annoyed at the time, but after I joined found that he was right - collecting miles has allowed me to leverage a number of trips I wouldn't otherwise have taken. Just don't bring your Guitar.

• If you are planning a trip to Europe, Asia, Africa or the Middle East, get acquainted with budget airlines (Air Asia, EasyJet, Ryan Air etc....) Then plan to fly into the absolute cheapest airport on the continent and use these budget airlines to get to your final destination. This also allows you to go through customs in a large, nicer airport most of the time. A great example of this is when I flew to Madrid (for under $600 round trip) before hopping a 40 Euro flight to Marrakech. A flight directly to Marrakech would have cost us upwards of $1000. 

• Go in the "off" season. In Costa Rica, there is a two week period at the end of July called veranillo. This is essentially a beautiful 2 week break from the rainy season. However, flights during this time hover right around the $200 dollar mark since it is still the "off" season. In addition, waiting until March to visit warmer locales can save you tons of money, since most people go in the winter. House rentals in places like the Virgin Islands and other Caribbean hot spots usually fall to "low season" prices around first or second week in March. 

• Prepare yourself for a shock: all-inclusive resorts are not always the cheapest option for lodging, and they rarely give the most authentic experience. The best lodging options vary from country to country. You should consider renting a house or apartment (depending on your group size), staying in a guest house or even chartering a boat. These options give you the freedom to do some of your own cooking, control your own schedule and take advantage of additional peace and tranquility. 

• Take into account the power of the dollar. While a flight to Asia may consume the better part of your budget, remember how cheap it's going to be once you get there. Your in-country costs will be less than half what they would be in a more developed place. While a flight to Europe may be affordable, funding the rest of your vacation on the all-powerful Euro will not be. 

• Take only memories, leave only footprints. If you focus your vacation activities away from shopping, you will have more fun and spend less money. We all like to get keepsakes from our travels, what do they really end up doing besides weighing down our lives? So take more pictures and give the souks and shops a firm resolve.

   

So please start planning the kind of adventure that will make your co-workers think you just robbed a bank. Plan smart, think outside the box and stamp the crap out of your passport.

Bon Voyage,
Double E

Toot-Toot, Beep-Beep – or How I Manage Transportation

I am a control freak, obviously. I mean, I can't even allow other people to pay for my dinner because I think it throws off our "power dynamics".  I have also never owned a car, and haven't been behind the wheel in over a year. I am very serious about using public transportation (and now, my new bike!). As you might imagine, reconciling these two parts of my moral fiber is no picnic.

Using public transportation in any big city is a smart move financially. Using a bicycle (when weather and time permit) is even smarter. The problem is that you have to relinquish a lot of control in order to do it. Buses and trains are crowded and do not usually run on time. No amount of alertness can save you from that errant car door that opens into the bike lane, or the bike thief who carries enough tools to break through all three of your locks.

An unexpected cloud burst or even a completely expected rainy day can disrupt your routine so badly that you feel as if you will never recover. For me, that frustration just burns in my chest until I feel like I'm going to explode all over the other people at my bus stop. At one point, I lived almost two miles from the nearest metro stop and had to stay home sick during thunderstorms.

So here are some tips to surviving as a control freak without a car, and for getting the most out of your transportation dollars.

• Take. The. Bus. If you live in Washington, D.C. at least. The buses here are clean, not nearly as crowded as the metro during rush hour and infinitely cheaper. They are also far more likely to have working climate control. Traffic can be annoying, but slight alterations in your daily schedule can fix this.

• Change your work schedule. Most work places are getting more and more flexible with what they will allow. Often, the difference between commuting at 8:30 am instead of 9:00 am can save you time, money, and dealing with crowds. The same goes for leaving at 5:00 pm or 6:00 pm instead of right at 5:30 pm.

• Bike! Bikes are great – and most cities have a bikers association with perks like "guaranteed ride home" and tips for the best traffic routes and for avoiding accidents. You will be shocked at how much of the city opens up to you once you have a bike – what once took you one hour and two train changes, suddenly takes you 20 minutes from door to door. The kicker is that it's also great for your health!

• Zipcar. There are lots of great things outside the city and it sucks to have to depend on someone who owns a car to take advantage of them. Zipcar is also great for big grocery store trips, because no one looks good carrying a 20-pack of toilet paper on the handlebars of their bike.

• Get to know your neighbors/meet new people. I met my Partner on the metro at rush hour. If you can cling to a shred of your positive attitude and keep an open mind, who knows who you might meet!



Living anywhere in America without a car is difficult. It challenges our habits and comfort daily. However, using public transportation in combination with biking can save you money, improve your health, and help you wage your own righteous battle on oil dependency. Just try to remind yourself of that the next time you ruin a pair of suede shoes standing in the rain at a bus stop.

I've got no car and it's breakin' my heart, but I've got a driver and that's a start.....

Double E



Other People's Weddings and You Can't Spray Roundup on Jesus

When you are a young professional, you live in dread of the friendly mass-facebook-message: "Hi guys – Please send me your current address!! Xoxo, your random old sorority sister/friend/roommate/3rd cousin twice removed". Now you are frantically checking the balance of your bank accounts and your credit card limit before you decide whether or not to pretend you've moved to Guam while you wonder how the hell you ended up on the guest list.

Before you call me a wedding-hater or something equally heartless, let me say that there is NOTHING better than attending the wedding of two people you love. I have been to lots of those weddings and I cried at every single one. I've caught bouquets, I've crafted place-cards, I've done readings and I was even a 23-year-old flower girl.

However, dropping more than an entire paycheck on a wedding between an acquaintance and a stranger  out of obligation – is the WORST. I have been to a lot of those weddings, and I've cried at them too, but mainly because of the mint.com low balance reminders that kept popping up in my email.

Well, you can't spray Roundup on Jesus, and once that facebook message shows up, you can't spray Roundup on this random pseudo-friend's wedding either.

Sooner or later there will be a brightly designed "save-the-date" in your actual, physical mailbox and by then, even the pruning shears will be useless. Before you start clicking through airfares and the registry with an impending sense of financial doom, here are some things to think about:

·        Did you know that it's perfectly acceptable to not attend a wedding? That's right – you can say "no". This is why people send RSVP cards with options instead of a militiaman with a rifle. You should still send a gift, but no one is going to come after you with a pitchfork for spending less than $50.00. No one understands financial woes better than people who are planning a wedding. This is especially appropriate if your only contact with the bride or groom over the last six months has been that silly facebook address exchange.

·        I would never suggest that you put a dollar figure on your friendships, but it can be useful to think about who else will be at this wedding. If you don't know the bride and groom that well (or if you are no longer close), the "reunion" factor can make all the difference. Could you increase the "bang for your buck" on this wedding by seeing friends/family from far away then instead of doing a long distance trip to see them later? Better yet, could you also go splitsies on a hotel room with them? Whatever you need to do to keep yourself from crying over mint.com updates – if you're going to drop the cash, you should be having fun.

·        You don't have to spend it all at once. While the end figure is still the same (HIGH), you can pay for the flight one month, the hotel another, and the gift up to one year after the wedding. This can take the pressure off a bit and allow you to plan and prepare – secret #1 to financial happiness in my book. Anyone who tells you otherwise is probably trying to sell you something.

·        Your Partner who doesn't know these people DOES NOT want to go to this wedding. They do not want to split the hotel room and gift and they definitely do not want to pay for a plane ticket to get there. If you don't want to pay for them, don't push the issue. Receiving an invitation with a +1 is nice, but again, there is not a shot-gun pointed at your head. Going stag can be fun, and in most of the scenarios I've been in, it's also cheaper (for you, and for your soon-to-be-wed friends).

Before I wrap up, I'd like to say a final word on the invitation of obligation. If you made it on to an invite list and think that you might not be wanted at the wedding, think again. If they invited you (which means spending a fair chunk of their own change on you), they are prepared for you to attend. Period. If you don't want spend over a month's rent on these two people – good for you, be not ashamed. But please don't pretend that it's because they didn't really want you to attend. It is because you don't really want to attend, and that is just fine.

Spendwell, my thrifty friends. Enjoy what remains of wedding season!

Double E